Hello and welcome, one and all.
Because I insist on gobbing off on a weekly basis and since WWE are adamant on having 9999 hours of wrestling per week (Raw being 95% of that), my usual shower of bazooka rounds has been replaced with a rather nifty sniper rifle that I’ll be using to highlight the strongest and weakest parts of the show……….or at least just my personal favourite and worst moments.
Unfurl the sails and hoist the anchor as blunt, yet constructive criticism is surely on the horizon!
It’s…….
I was completely gutted when I heard the news of Bobby Heenan.
I remember being eight years old at SummerSlam and even though I was on the second to last row and he was a tiny dot in the distance, I still screamed like a mad cunt and started a Weasel chant.
My voice was fucked by the end of the night, but I didn’t care. It was my goal to make him hear me and I’m still convinced to this day that he did.
#OneHitOneShit
Sheamus and Cesaro hit it out of the arena with their awesome pre-match promo and a combined effort from themselves and two other teams in a great triple-threat tag-match.
After Sheamus took the piss out of the crowd and the general populous for enjoying one too many memberries and nostalgia acts like The Hardy Boyz and a partial Shield reunion, we eventually got a match between Sheasaro, Ambrollins and The Good Brothers, Gallows and Anderson.
Sheamus failed to mention the latest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles milking effort when discussing the lack of creativity in the world…….for obvious reasons.
Despite these ingredients being somewhat over-used as of late, this was a great showing for all six lads and it was a joy to watch.
The Raw tag-team division is lacking in quantity at the moment but certainly not in quality and tonight was a fabulous showcase of how much the titles mean to these guys.
I’m still of the opinion that WWE should have picked one brand to host the tag-team titles whilst not removing tag matches from the other shows entirely, but even though they didn’t do that, tonight paid off as one of the times that everyone was on form and everything was red-hot.
<sigh>
I’m sorry to say, but the women that are in the shit again.
As I’ve said numerous times before, it’s not their talent that I’m criticising, on the contrary, in fact, it’s the booking decisions being made for them and the exhausted/careless method of chucking them all out in one giant cluster-fuck is where my issue resides.
We were initially led to believe that we’d see Alexa Bliss face Nia Jax at No Mercy, this was eventually given away on the go home edition of Raw instead.
A short while after the initial announcement, the match transformed into a Fatal Four-way with Bliss, Jax, Sasha Banks and Emma.
And then this week we saw yet another change to the match as Nia was holding her own against Sasha and Bliss, only to have Bayley return early to assist in vanquishing the monster and this is where we landed.
No Mercy will see a Fatal Five-way for the title and just like always, we’ll get the lasses out the way in one fell swoop, fantastic.
The saddest part of all is that I’m really not fussed how this goes now.
Not only for the reasons mentioned above, but also because we were told last week that Asuka’s joining the roster soon, she was given two vignette slots this week to excite us and now nothing else matters to me.
Sorry.
The rest of Raw was rather strong too; the best of the rest being Braun Strowman once more.
The crowds have finally come around to realising Enzo Amore being nothing but a pain in the arse and they popped big-time when Braun charged down to shut Enzo up/down/every direction Braun deemed fit.
Sadly, this didn’t remove him from the Cruiserweight title picture and he’ll still be facing Neville at No Mercy.
Enzo jumping back and force between brands is something I’m incredibly conflicted over which I’ve mentioned briefly in the past and I’ll elaborate later/tomorrow in “Go Home: No Mercy”.
To be continued……
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