ONE HIT, ONE SH!T: Raw (11-Sep-17)

Hello and welcome, one and all.

Because I insist on gobbing off on a weekly basis and since WWE are adamant on having 9999 hours of wrestling per week (Raw being 95% of that), my usual shower of bazooka rounds has been replaced with a rather nifty sniper rifle that I’ll be using to highlight the strongest and weakest parts of the show……….or at least just my personal favourite and worst moments.

Unfurl the sails and hoist the anchor as blunt, yet constructive criticism is surely on the horizon!

It’s…….

 

 

#OneHitOneShit

 

Braun Strowman getting hit with a German Suplex and no-selling it was ‘sbloody fantastic!

After Paul Heyman delivered an energetic promo on behalf of Brock Lesnar, they then called out Strowman so Brock could extract revenge after getting battered the last time they met.

Strowman marched down to the ring and began wailing on Brock.  Once Brock finally found an opening, he launched Braun with a German and roared before turning around.

Brock shat a brick and froze in the headlights of the unphased monster-truck;  Braun then bludgeoned Brock half to death with said shitty-brick.

Bless him, as well as selling absolute mortification during the mauling, Paul Heyman tried to slither over to the title before Strowman proceeded to grab it and hold it high above his head over a fallen Lesnar.

A grand job has been done by all to make Lesnar look vulnerable and like the underdog.  On the flip-side of this, Strowman looks like the most brutal bastard on the roster and good things can only come from their battle at No Mercy.

 

 

This week it seems that Corey Graves was handed the task of dropping trow and curling off a big, steamy shit on the table for us all to stare at in fascinated horror.

Why did WWE have to shoot their load early by NEEDING to announce Asuka’s impending arrival on Raw?

They’ve ruined a perfectly good opportunity to shock us all with her music hitting if/when Nia “The Bitch-Fister” Jax wins the belt and it seems like there’s nobody that can take it off her!

I don’t mind the sudden message of “something potentially better than everything else is here; let’s see how it all goes” if Asuka were to debut via a surprising means, I’m just not a fan of “something better is coming soon, so fuck what we got going on today and let’s focus on………tomorrow”.

*grin*

To me, it seemed that Nia Jax and Alexa Bliss even highlighted my point for me just by discussing Asuka immediately after the “teaser” promo.

This lead into Nia stating she got a match against Bliss green-lighted for next week, mere days before Bliss defends her title against Nia, Sasha Banks and Emma.

Too bad I don’t care about these four now that we know for sure that we’re getting Asuka sooner or later.

 

 

Rest of Raw.

Roman Reigns once again helped prove that piss-weak swearing isn’t the thing that’s going to make people jump on his side against John Cena as the start/majority of his big witty comeback was saying “bitch-ass” for the third week in a row now.

Cena was just amused that that’s the best that Reigns (or his writers) could come up with, as was I.

Their match at No Mercy will undoubtedly be a great one; Cena will obviously do his best and the playing field will be a little fairer to Reigns as his in-ring work is much stronger than when he has to engage in conversation and such.

 

 

 

Digest and discuss! Feel free to do so in the comments or via any of the means listed below.

 

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Thanks for reading, take care and I’ll see you again soon!