Hello and welcome, one and all.

Because I insist on gobbing off on a weekly basis and since WWE are adamant on having 9999 hours of wrestling per week (Raw being 95% of that), my usual shower of bazooka rounds has been replaced with a rather nifty sniper rifle that I’ll be using to highlight the strongest and weakest parts of the show……….or at least just my personal favourite and worst moments.

Unfurl the sails and hoist the anchor as blunt, yet constructive criticism is surely on the horizon!

It’s…….

 

 

 

#OneHitOneShit

 

 

I feel like someone hit me with something during the show as I thoroughly enjoyed the end segment with Enzo, Neville and the 205 Live gang.

Earlier on, I’d already jotted down the idea to feature Enzo in the negative portion of this piece, but since him being a gargantuan dick-hole all night was leading up to a double turn involving himself and Neville, it’s getting a thumbs up from me on account of how triggered I was/had been/will be again at the annoying creature that is the new Cruiserweight Champion.

After Enzo celebrated his greatness in the ring for a while, the 205 Live roster headed out onto the stage.  Enzo proceeded to take the piss out of them all individually until a grief-stricken Neville staggered out and vowed to shut Enzo up.

Enzo tried to save his own skin by reminding Neville that earlier in the night, he annoyed Kurt Angle into enforcing a no-contact agreement into Enzo’s title reign; meaning that anyone that decides to strike/attack/jump Enzo (for whatever justified reason) will no longer be viable to compete for the Cruiserweight Championship.

Neville ignores this warning and beats the shit out of Enzo anyway.

This really ticked a lot of boxes for me as I’ve been screaming that WWE should do more with the Cruiserweights and that they must stop restricting their opponents and allies based on body weight.

Having former tag-team/”main roster” talent Enzo now ruling over the Cruiserweights and banishing the de-throned Neville into the wild and giving him a solid reason to get involved in something completely different are both steps forward.

Lastly, I always enjoy a good double-turn and I think that’s what we got here.  It’s what I took away from it anyway, even if Neville’s valiant behaviour wears off by next week.

 

 

Shit the bed!

I don’t understand just how dense the creative team can be at times.  Honestly, I’m being super serial.

The start of Raw showed The Miz and The Mizterons welcome Roman Reigns to Miz TV.  Miz was respectful, polite and he gave Roman a stage to address the world in a segment more interesting than his usual “sweaty bell-end with a man-bun hanging out backstage in the locker room” classics.

I get that WWE wants to tease a balls-deep Shield reunion, but Roman was the antagonist here (it’s not the first time either) and he verbally took the first shot at The Miz.  WWE just can’t wash him of his poor man’s knock-off of The Rock and I continue to see very little reason to care.

It’s because of this that I fear WWE will eventually just turn this into Roman not needing anyone else to defeat foes such as The Mizterons and it won’t offer Dean Ambrose or Seth Rollins half as much as it will Roman.

They teased this again to the point of exhaustion later on in the night as Reigns defeated The Miz in a non-title match, causing Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel to take it upon themselves to join the party with a couple of chairs.

Reigns sustained a ten-minute beat-down only to be left for dead below a mockery of The Shield’s fist bump.

Ambrose and Rollins had already been on the show, Ambrose in a match against Braun Strowman and Rollins in backstage segments with Dean.  There was no reason they couldn’t have been shown either leaving, saving Reigns, or being shown not to care.

If the WWE really want the majority of the fans to get behind Roman Reigns in the way that they initially wished, a Shield reunion may be the only thing that will get them what they want.

Sadly, Vince and his band of trolls may be reluctant in delivering this since it’s giving fans what they want; get your t-shirts fast, they won’t last long!

I hope I’m wrong, but if WWE does try and pull a fast one just to get us to jump on the Roman band-wagon, I suspect it will backfire big-time and fans will become more bitter and may never properly warm to him again.

 

 

Kurt Hawkins was the star during the rest of raw.

I mean, he was head-butted to a fine paste, but both the set-up to Strowman answering Hawkins’ open challenge and Hawkins’ reaction were ‘sbloody fantastic!

As Strowman’s music roared out into the arena, Hawkins shat his pants and tried to run away through the crowd.

After Strowman finally caught up with Hawkins, he hurled him through one of the giant screens and issued an open challenge of his own.

Dean Ambrose answered the call and they put on a decent match.  Strowman obviously got the win, but Dean came off looking ballsy and tough in putting up a fight against the monster longer than most would.

Seth Rollins gets his pickle out next week to compare and see if he can do better against big Braun.

 

 

Digest and discuss! Feel free to do so in the comments or via any of the means listed below.

 

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Thanks for reading, take care and I’ll see you again soon!